Boredom - the great creator

They say necessity is the mother of invention. I'm not sure who 'they' are, but when they said this they got it slightly wrong. Necessity is a more like the very helpful aunt of invention, but the true mother is boredom. This is true for myself anyway.

Since being relieved of my full time job I've found myself at rather a loose end a lot of the time. In order to fill up the surplus of free time I have had thrust upon me I have taken to doing things I normally wouldn't. I started learning the Harmonica; I started a new short story; I read a novel that has eluded me for a number of years; I actually finished writing a song, something I have attempted and failed to do on numerous occasions since I first started playing guitar. I even resurrected this blog. Lucky for all you guys then that this page is active again as I can now inform you of my latest projects as they come.

Over the past few days a very good friend and I have started work on a sitcom script. We have actually put effort into this (a new concept to me) and have arrived at a cast of characters and outlines for at least two episodes, and we plan to continue the way we have begun. For now I won't reveal any plot points out of an irrational fear that someone on the internet may steal it.

Most normal people wouldn't be excited about such a skeletal idea so early on, but the fact that I have returned to this and built on the idea so quickly after it was first conceived is rather uncharacteristic of me.

I'm under no illusions (yet) about being the next Simon Pegg or Graham Linehan. The finished project may very well be a stinking pile of shit with Phantom Menace-esque plot holes and cheesy dialogue, but for now I really like the ideas we have and believe it could actually be good.

Stay tuned for further updates, and if you know anyone who has a say in Channel 4's programming schedule please let me know.

What ever happened to real action movies?

Action movies these days are in fairly short supply. At least good ones anyway. Now, I know that there's a new comic book adaptation released nearly every other week, and for the most part they are action oriented, however I consider these more of a sub-genre. These are comic book movies, not action movies. There is a subtle difference. It's tough to define exactly what I mean. Lets just say for arguments sake, an action movies main protagonist can't have super powers or dress up in a funny costume. Different time periods, including the future (because Demolition Man is definitely an action movie), are allowed and the hero has to be a semi-regular guy. John McClane, Indiana Jones, John Rambo, Dutch from Predator...these are action heroes. Tony Stark, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker... these are super heroes. It isn't an exact science but you get the idea.

Now during the 80s and 90s Action movies ruled the roost. Die Hard, Total Recall, Terminator, Speed, The Last Boy Scout, Commando, The Rock - Just a few examples of the high quality of Action movie that are out there from this period. These were full of big guns, explosions and cheesy one-liners. These are the things that make action movies great. In the past 10 years however there's been a major drop in both the quantity and quality of proper actioners. Maybe it's because Nic Cage took over as main action guy after '96, or maybe it's down to Michael Bay trying to get some emotion out of Ben Affleck on more than one occasion. We'd need a lot of Bar charts and Venn Diagrams to figure it out for sure, but the fact remains that the classic movie about an angry guy with a gun is in decline. They've been replaced by the guy with inhuman strength and an inferiority complex.

We have been given some false hope in recent times by the likes of Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Alas, after flirting with the prospect of bringing action into the new millennium they quickly went the way of family comedies. Attempts have been made to breath new life into older properties. The latest Predator and Terminator films weren't too bad, but where they really failed was putting serious method actors into the lead roles. In the past there has always been a level of self-awareness about the best action movies. They don't quite break the 4th wall, but there is a wink and a nudge hidden in the script that lets you know it's all for shits and giggles. When you have the likes of Adrien Brody attempting to bring a bit of gravitas to proceedings it tends to suck the fun out just a little bit.

So what is the discerning action fan to do? Are we to just sit back and let Fox recycle the Spiderman series time and time again? Well we don't have much of a choice. Ever since X-Men was released way back in 2000 audiences have been lapping up the more 'serious' action films. They love to see the musclebound hero cry and talk about his feelings. Maybe people feel guilty about watching popcorn flicks all the time. Maybe when they watch the Likes of the Dark Knight or Casino Royale they can tell themselves they're watching something a little more intelligent. But lets face facts, everyone is there to see Batman beat the shit out of the bad guy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. People just need to admit it to themselves. The real question is, how is going to happen. This trend of darker, more cerebral action movie doesn't appear to be going away any time soon. Well, never fear. There is hope, and that hope goes by the name of Jason Statham.

For the past decade Statham has been carving out a niche for himself in Hollywood as an old fashioned action star. The man is hard as nails, and knows his way around a fight scene. He can deliver one-liners like nobody's business too. His latest effort " the Mechanic" (a 'ahem' retooling of an old Charles Bronson assassin movie) is an absolute delight. For anyone who's unaware of The Stath up until now I urge you to hunt out everything that came before. Whether he's supporting in the likes of Cellular, The One, War, or taking centre stage in The Transporter, Death Race and Crank, you know shit's about to get real when he's on screen. Up until now the A-List has eluded him somewhat, but after starring alongside Stallone in the Expendables his stock should be going up. Hopefully Hollywood will take note. With a bit of luck we may have an action renaissance on our hands very soon.

The Green Hornet

Criminals beware! there's a masked vigilante in town, and he has a car pimped out with missiles and other such cool stuff which he can afford because underneath the mask he's an incredibly wealthy socialite. Awesome, I hear you all say, but has Christian Bale toned down that silly growl yet?

No, it's not Batman. It's that other masked vigilante with a pimped out car. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The Green Hornet. Nope, I don't know either. Very much an also ran in the pantheon of super heroes, The Green Hornet began life as a radio serial in the 30s. Brit Reid, wealthy head of a newspaper would take to the streets at night with his trusty sidekick Kato to dispense justice to all the thugs and lowlifes they can get their hands on. Other than the radio show there was also a tv series in the 60s in which Bruce Lee starred as Kato. personally my only memory of the character is a crossover episode with Batman of the 60s in which The Green Hornet poses as a criminal in Gotham in order to bring down a supervillain from the inside. This brings us nicely into the latest incarnation.

For the big screen update, Seth Rogen (Writer and star) has lifted this storyline almost entirely and had a few laughs with it. With Michel Gondry of Eternal Sunshine fame, on board as director one would expect something a little offbeat and quirky. Indeed, it isn't what you would call a normal superhero movie, but Gondry's influence is rather lost under the weight of it's star. This is a vehicle for Rogen through and through.

Rogen plays Brit Reid the underachieving son of a well respected newspaper magnate. When daddy dies Brit just wants to carry on as normal, spending his fathers money and ignoring any responsibility. Along the way Brit befriends his fathers mechanic Kato, mainly because Kato makes good coffee. Kato has many other handy crime fighting skills already built in to him, and when the two prevent a mugging one night, the increasingly useless Brit decides they should become vigilantes. From here on Silliness ensues. Christoph waltz steals the show as a gangster who wants nothing more than for his men to be afraid of him, Cameron Diaz pops up and doesn't really do anything and Seth Rogen bumbles around like he always does.

All in all, The Green Hornet is a fairly agreeable romp. For the most part it moves along swiftly, although the second act falls flat in parts. Given that Rogen is writing I would have expected far more comedy than action, but he succeeds in melding the two together rather seamlessly. Yes it's over the top, it's camp, and it is most definitely a throwback to the old colourful boys own adventures of old, but that all makes for a decent bit of silly entertainment. It's not perfect by a long shot, and a lot of people may be put off by the fact they've never heard of the damn thing, but there are far worse ways to spend an afternoon.

Rating: 3/5

Batman: The Hype Rises

As the new year begins it strikes me that since Christopher Nolan announced the title of the 3rd installment of his Batman series there has been zero mention of it in the press. One Google search later, and I am informed that the finalised script is due to be completed this month with shooting to start in May. That's alright then. The Dark Knight Rises has not slipped quietly in to development hell, it's just biding it's time a little bit. So I'm going to take this opportunity to engage in a little pre-marketing speculation, as once the script is locked in we won't hear of anything else.

Warning: Spoilers Ahoy

So, there are two items on the agenda today: Who will the villain be, and will it actually be any good? Let's start with the villains. There are a good number of the usual rogue's gallery who can be crossed off the list. The Joker and Scarecrow are both assumed to be inmates of Arkham following the events of The Dark Knight; Two-Face is dead; Chris Nolan has publicly announced that The Riddler will not feature and, Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze and Manbat are all a little too silly to fit into the "realistic" version of Gotham we have become accustomed to. So who does that leave?

In no particular order here are some of the front-runners in my head.

Talia Al Ghul - In comic book lore Talia is the daughter of the immortal Ra's Al Ghul and is a love interest of Bruce Wayne. she occupies a space similar to that of Catwoman and is more of an Anti-hero than a villain. Having used Ra's Al Ghul in the first film there is a good possibility of a revenge story coming to the fore here, as well as tying up the story of the League of Shadows a little better. Having the characters linked across the 3 films would nicely bookend the series too.

Catwoman - I think by this stage everyone in the world is familiar with Catwoman. She wears tight leather, she has a whip, she's a devious criminal but not that bad a person, and she is a love interest for both Batman and Bruce Wayne depending on how she's dressed. now the fact that the only female character in the series was blown to pieces in the last film does suggest that Nolan be looking to fill those shoes for the third outing. Hopefully this will be a character who has a modicum of a personality. Catwoman would fit in nicely there as would the aforementioned Talia. Lord knows what story they'd go for with Catwoman. There's plenty to choose from anyway.

Harley Quinn - Up until now there has been absolutely zero mention anywhere of the possibility of the Jokers Girlfriend being introduced. Granted, in The Dark Knight we are led to believe that the Joker doesn't really have any friends, he's a little too crazy for normal interaction. However I do believe Harley could fit nicely into the Nolan universe. Her story goes she is a young psychologist assigned to the Joker in Arkham and is gradually twisted around to his way of thinking over the course of their sessions. Easily done without having to show the joker on-screen. The origin story could be tweaked without much thought either. The Joker has obviously left quite a mark on Gotham and thanks to the Arkham breakout in Batman Begins there are plenty of loonies wandering the streets of Gotham who would be more than willing to act as a copycat. On a Side note, there's the option of introducing the Joker Gang who featured quite heavily in the futuristic "Batman Beyond" series.

Hugo Strange - I can't help notice my list so far has been entirely female, so here's a change of pace. I must admit, I'm not overly familiar with this character but his name has popped up in a few different rumour sites so it's be rude not to include him here. An informed source (Wikipedia) tells me he is a psychologist who becomes obsessed with Batman, and attempts to kill the vigilante so he can take up the mantle himself. To me that could make for a very interesting storyline and fits in nicely with the grim world which has been built up in the first two films.

The Penguin - Why has everyone forgotten Oswald Cobblepot? I suppose no-one really wants to remember Tim Burton's grotesque version involving Danny DeVito and a prosthetic nose. Let's try to look at the character objectively for a moment though. Once you take away his flying umbrella, the Penguin is for all intents and purposes a hardcore gangster. If you look at Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, a lot of it is taken up by badass gangsters trying to take control of Gotham. Now currently the Gotham PD are using all their resources to hunt down Batman. Enter the penguin to quietly take control of the crime syndicates, and suddenly Gotham is more boned than ever before so it's up to one pointy eared vigilante to save the day. Thus he redeems himself in the eyes of the entire city and Christopher Nolan can justify his awful choice of title.

Which, if any, of these villains will actually show up in the film is anyone's guess. Given the history of the series, and indeed the history of superhero movies in general I think it's safe to say there will be more than one antagonist and at least three different plot lines baying for our attention.

In Batman Begins we saw three villains as well as a lengthy origin story and each were given almost exactly the right amount of attention.

The Dark Knight once again, had 3 villains. The Joker dominated the film, Two-Face was unfortunately short changed and the gangsters very much took a back seat, as did any sort of character development. Enough was done right however to ensure it worked.

The hype machine that went along with The Dark Knight was unprecedented. I haven't seen anything like it before or since and the film was very much in danger of collapsing under it's own weight. Instead it became one of the most successful films of all time and everyone loved it. No doubt Warner Bros. are cranking up that machine right now in anticipation of the new script.

So get ready for more of the same in the coming months. I'll be doing my best to ignore it, but I know very well this is an impossibility. I just hope that one more time Nolan won't let the hype get him down and deliver a film that stands up to it's predecessors. Only time will tell.

Movie Reviews - Public Enemies

A couple of weeks have passed now since I saw transformers: revenge of that bay motherfucker so I think I'm just about calm enough to give a fairly balanced review of the latest big summer release - John dillinger biopic Public Enemies. On paper this should be just about the best movie ever made. It's about gangsters, which everyone loves; it stars Johnny Depp, who everyone loves; it stars Christian Bale who everyone loves despite being a massive dickhead; And it's directed by Michael Mann who is one of the best directors Hollywood has to offer, although he does use blue filters a bit too much. If you follow the movie press you'll know this has been hyped up the wazoo aswell. So does it live up to its massive potential I hear you ask. Well, nearly but not quite. It's beautifully shot in glorious hi-def, and Depp absolutely sparkles as the infamous depression era bank robber. Although I do enjoy a good gangster movie I generally try my best not to like the main characters as they are invariably scumbags doing what scumbags do. With Public enemies though it is impossible to hate Dillinger. Depp is just too damn cool. It is easy to hate his psycho friends though. If Dillinger was really that badass in life then good luck to him robbing all the banks he wanted too.
On the other side we have Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis, the agent assigned with taking down Dillinger and his cronies. Recently I've found myself disliking Bale more and more. Not because of his off-screen antics, but he seems to be going through what I will call Ed Norton syndrome; ie a well respected actor getting too big for their boots, and phoning in performances under the presumption that it's going to be amazing just because it's them. With that in mind, Bale is actually fine in the role, but he never really sets the screen alight. Perhaps the character has been underwritten, or maybe there was nothing much to write about in the first place. Either way it's a competent performance but it isn't going to change my views on the man one way or the other.

At this point I realise I haven't mentioned the plot at all, the reason being there honestly isn't much of one to talk about. John Dillinger robs a few banks, Melvin Purvis pursues him. There's a couple of jailbreaks and there's a love interest. That's really it. But don't let this put you off. This is still a very good film. All the robberies and shoot-outs (and there are many) are expertly done.
All the supporting parts are well played (in particular Stephen Graham as the insane Baby-Face Nelson), and although it is rather long it never drags for a second. From a historical standpoint I have no idea how accurate it is. I know John Dillinger had a somewhat Robin Hood like image and this is played upon so the audience can actually like the main character. From the cops perspective it is interesting to watch the beginnings of the FBI built by J. Edgar Hoover.

As a whole, Public Enemies is a hugely enjoyable movie. On reading over what I have written I feel I may have been too negative as I can't recall a moment while watching where I felt bored in the slightest, or thought the acting was bad, or thought the script to be cheesy. Michael Mann has once again proven he is a master behind the camera, and a star turn from Depp as the charismatic criminal elevates the film to a level which the source material may not really deserve. Definitely one of the better films of the year so far. Does it deserve the instant classic label which has been thrust upon it? Not quite, but it's damn good regardless.

Movie Reviews - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Let me begin by saying I enjoyed the first Transformers movie. Sure, it was far from perfect. The transformers themselves were non-existent from a character point of view, and the humour was poor even by Michael Bay standards. It did however look absolutely gorgeous, the action was well choreographed, and it really should have won the Oscar for special effects. Overall it was a fun brainless blockbuster, which is exactly what I expected, and so I was able to enjoy it for what it was.
Now we have Transformers 2, subtitled Revenge of the Fallen. With my general liking of the first installment I entered this with a fairly open mind. Unfortunately I was disappointed.
There was a lot I didn't like about this film, but I'm going to do my best to concentrate on the good for the moment.

Towards the end of the first act there is a superb fight scene between Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, and Megatron and Starscream, leader and second in command of the Decepticons. The fight is superbly shot, well choreographed and even has an emotional impact, something generally lacking completely from Michael Bay movies. The major plus in this scene compared to other fights in this and the first movie is that you can actually see whats going on.
Later on in the film fans of the old cartoon series are treated to some Decepticon in-fighting in the shape of Megatron and Starscream squabbling over leadership. It's funny and it's a nice throwback to the origin of the material.

Those are the good bits. I've brought the positives forward as much as I could. Now onto the bad.
Normally in a film about extra terrestrial robots the plot shouldn't really bother me. I'm not there to enjoy good writing, I'm there to see shit blowing up, but I would like it if the writers at least tried a little bit.
The action picks up 2 years after the events of the first movie. Optimus and co are now part of a secret government organisation who hunt down Decepticons hiding on earth. Meanwhile, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) is getting ready to go off to college, and is broody about leaving behind his girlfriend (Megan Fox). In the background the Decepticons are plotting to resurrect Megatron from his slumber at the bottom of the ocean. Now that's all fine. Decepticons try to do bad things, Autobots try to stop them, explosions ensue, and Shia LeBeouf gets involved for some reason and shouts 'No no no' quite a bit.

The plot follows this format for the first act and everything is hunky dory. But then they happen across a rickety old transformer who's purposes in the movie are comic relief and exposition. There are two problems with this. Firstly he's not even a little bit funny. Secondly, the plot doesn't need to be moved anywhere else. It was doing just fine before when it was virtually non-existent, but they had to go and ruin it by introducing a new villain and a new maguffin robbed from the old animated movie all at the expense of action. The new villain, named The Fallen, is another rickety old transformer living on the moon. He's plotting revenge for something that isn't quite clear and the only thing that can kill him is something called the matrix of leadership, which really doesn't appear to do anything either. Roughly 45 minutes is taken up by the old transformer (who's name escapes me) explaining these facts, and that the transformers have been on earth for thousands of years. To slow things down further he falls over a few times. By the time the explanations were done I found that the whole gang of transformers, human teenagers and the US army were in Egypt and I was none the wiser as to exactly why. And in all this time I hadn't seen a single explosion.

When the explosions finally come again in the final act, they come thick and fast. So thick and fast in fact that they completely obscure what's going on. At some point during the meleé Megatron has called in about 20 decepticons to help in the fight. None of them have names, none of them are in any way distinguishable from each other, or from the Autobots they are meant to be fighting. This whole extended battle scene is so badly filmed it gave me a headache. From time to time I saw a robot having it's head blown off and presumed it was a decepticon. Seeing as the autobots were all present and correct when the dust settled, I presume I was right.
This final battle, and the aforementioned long exposition take up about 2 hours of this overlong movie.

Besides these major complaints, there are also countless small details which served only to annoy me further throughout the movie.
Michael Bay's love for 'comic' characters to offset the mayhem of the action took up far too much screen time. There's Sam's nerdy new roommate, there's John Turturro reprising his character from the first one (at least he tries to make it funny), and there are the twin autobots who are in fact just incredibly racist black stereotypes who end up being more annoying the Snarf and Jar-Jar Binks combined.
Once again I must acknowledge that I was watching a movie about big ol' robots so really anything goes, but for gods sake writers, try to keep it within the confines of the universe you have created. There shouls never be a transformer who can imitate humans a lá the Liquid Metal Terminator, And there should never EVER be an instance of a human life being saved by the ghosts of transformers who have been dead for thousands of years.

The main complaints of fans when the first transformers movie came out were: #1 Not enough transformers, #2 No mention of Energon, #3 Fights were confusing, #4 Too many humans
Michael Bay attempted to fix the first two, but ended up making things 10 times worse. He added lots and lots of transformers, but failed to give them any sort of identity or character. He brought in the concept of Energon as a life force for the transformers. It was done almost as an afterthought though and really wasn't necessary. As for the fights, with the one notable exception mentioned earlier, they were far more confusing than ever before. and the humans are still there in force too, doing the same thing they did in the first: Running around and trying to be funny, and failing miserably.

In short, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is overlong, nonsensical, confusing, boring, and sometimes actually offensive. It's a painful experience, and it's nearly 3 hours of your life you won't ever get back. Don't see it.
All that said though, it's not the worst Michael Bay movie ever made. That honour still goes to Pearl Harbour.

Neil Young - 21st June 2009

Neil Young comes from the old guard of rock musicians. Having begun his career sometime in the mid 1960s I don't think anyone would have begrudged the man for hanging up his guitar 20 years ago, but that's not Neil's style. Always a hard worker, and always hell bent on what he wants and damn anyone who gets in his way, he's gonna keep on rockin' til the day he dies. And judging by last nights' Dublin gig he aint quite ready to pop his clogs just yet.
The show got off to a flying start with an extremely energetic rendition of Hey Hey, My My, and didn't let up for a second as Neil flew through old faithfuls including Mansion on the Hill, Everybody Knows This is Nowhere and Cinnamon Girl to name but a few. Not content to focus just on the hard rockers, and no doubt to give himself a bit of a breather (the man is 63 after all) Young mixed up the setlist giving the audience a bit of quiet time with the likes of Harvest moon and Don't Let it Bring You Down, which had the whole crowd swaying and singing along. The respite wasn't to last though. the Band turned it back up to 11 for a version of Down By The River which must have lasted about 20 minutes, but didn't drag for a second.
The night was brought to a lively close with Rockin' In The Free world, and a single encore of The Beatles 'A day In the Life'.
What really struck me about the show was how much fun Neil Young still seems to have while performing. He loves what he does and really puts his heart and soul into it. I don't think you'll ever see Shakey phoning in a performance. There's still life in the old dog yet.

Setlist:
1. Hey Hey, My My (Into The Black)
2. Mansion On The Hill
3. Are You Ready For The Country?
4. Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere
5. Pocahontas
6. Words
7. Cinnamon Girl
8. Mother Earth
9. Don't Let It Bring You Down
10. Lost In Space
11. On The Way Home
12. Burned
13. Harvest Moon
14. Down By The River
15. Get Behind The Wheel
16. Rockin' In The Free World

Encore:
17. A Day In The Life