Boredom - the great creator

They say necessity is the mother of invention. I'm not sure who 'they' are, but when they said this they got it slightly wrong. Necessity is a more like the very helpful aunt of invention, but the true mother is boredom. This is true for myself anyway.

Since being relieved of my full time job I've found myself at rather a loose end a lot of the time. In order to fill up the surplus of free time I have had thrust upon me I have taken to doing things I normally wouldn't. I started learning the Harmonica; I started a new short story; I read a novel that has eluded me for a number of years; I actually finished writing a song, something I have attempted and failed to do on numerous occasions since I first started playing guitar. I even resurrected this blog. Lucky for all you guys then that this page is active again as I can now inform you of my latest projects as they come.

Over the past few days a very good friend and I have started work on a sitcom script. We have actually put effort into this (a new concept to me) and have arrived at a cast of characters and outlines for at least two episodes, and we plan to continue the way we have begun. For now I won't reveal any plot points out of an irrational fear that someone on the internet may steal it.

Most normal people wouldn't be excited about such a skeletal idea so early on, but the fact that I have returned to this and built on the idea so quickly after it was first conceived is rather uncharacteristic of me.

I'm under no illusions (yet) about being the next Simon Pegg or Graham Linehan. The finished project may very well be a stinking pile of shit with Phantom Menace-esque plot holes and cheesy dialogue, but for now I really like the ideas we have and believe it could actually be good.

Stay tuned for further updates, and if you know anyone who has a say in Channel 4's programming schedule please let me know.

What ever happened to real action movies?

Action movies these days are in fairly short supply. At least good ones anyway. Now, I know that there's a new comic book adaptation released nearly every other week, and for the most part they are action oriented, however I consider these more of a sub-genre. These are comic book movies, not action movies. There is a subtle difference. It's tough to define exactly what I mean. Lets just say for arguments sake, an action movies main protagonist can't have super powers or dress up in a funny costume. Different time periods, including the future (because Demolition Man is definitely an action movie), are allowed and the hero has to be a semi-regular guy. John McClane, Indiana Jones, John Rambo, Dutch from Predator...these are action heroes. Tony Stark, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker... these are super heroes. It isn't an exact science but you get the idea.

Now during the 80s and 90s Action movies ruled the roost. Die Hard, Total Recall, Terminator, Speed, The Last Boy Scout, Commando, The Rock - Just a few examples of the high quality of Action movie that are out there from this period. These were full of big guns, explosions and cheesy one-liners. These are the things that make action movies great. In the past 10 years however there's been a major drop in both the quantity and quality of proper actioners. Maybe it's because Nic Cage took over as main action guy after '96, or maybe it's down to Michael Bay trying to get some emotion out of Ben Affleck on more than one occasion. We'd need a lot of Bar charts and Venn Diagrams to figure it out for sure, but the fact remains that the classic movie about an angry guy with a gun is in decline. They've been replaced by the guy with inhuman strength and an inferiority complex.

We have been given some false hope in recent times by the likes of Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Alas, after flirting with the prospect of bringing action into the new millennium they quickly went the way of family comedies. Attempts have been made to breath new life into older properties. The latest Predator and Terminator films weren't too bad, but where they really failed was putting serious method actors into the lead roles. In the past there has always been a level of self-awareness about the best action movies. They don't quite break the 4th wall, but there is a wink and a nudge hidden in the script that lets you know it's all for shits and giggles. When you have the likes of Adrien Brody attempting to bring a bit of gravitas to proceedings it tends to suck the fun out just a little bit.

So what is the discerning action fan to do? Are we to just sit back and let Fox recycle the Spiderman series time and time again? Well we don't have much of a choice. Ever since X-Men was released way back in 2000 audiences have been lapping up the more 'serious' action films. They love to see the musclebound hero cry and talk about his feelings. Maybe people feel guilty about watching popcorn flicks all the time. Maybe when they watch the Likes of the Dark Knight or Casino Royale they can tell themselves they're watching something a little more intelligent. But lets face facts, everyone is there to see Batman beat the shit out of the bad guy, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. People just need to admit it to themselves. The real question is, how is going to happen. This trend of darker, more cerebral action movie doesn't appear to be going away any time soon. Well, never fear. There is hope, and that hope goes by the name of Jason Statham.

For the past decade Statham has been carving out a niche for himself in Hollywood as an old fashioned action star. The man is hard as nails, and knows his way around a fight scene. He can deliver one-liners like nobody's business too. His latest effort " the Mechanic" (a 'ahem' retooling of an old Charles Bronson assassin movie) is an absolute delight. For anyone who's unaware of The Stath up until now I urge you to hunt out everything that came before. Whether he's supporting in the likes of Cellular, The One, War, or taking centre stage in The Transporter, Death Race and Crank, you know shit's about to get real when he's on screen. Up until now the A-List has eluded him somewhat, but after starring alongside Stallone in the Expendables his stock should be going up. Hopefully Hollywood will take note. With a bit of luck we may have an action renaissance on our hands very soon.

The Green Hornet

Criminals beware! there's a masked vigilante in town, and he has a car pimped out with missiles and other such cool stuff which he can afford because underneath the mask he's an incredibly wealthy socialite. Awesome, I hear you all say, but has Christian Bale toned down that silly growl yet?

No, it's not Batman. It's that other masked vigilante with a pimped out car. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you The Green Hornet. Nope, I don't know either. Very much an also ran in the pantheon of super heroes, The Green Hornet began life as a radio serial in the 30s. Brit Reid, wealthy head of a newspaper would take to the streets at night with his trusty sidekick Kato to dispense justice to all the thugs and lowlifes they can get their hands on. Other than the radio show there was also a tv series in the 60s in which Bruce Lee starred as Kato. personally my only memory of the character is a crossover episode with Batman of the 60s in which The Green Hornet poses as a criminal in Gotham in order to bring down a supervillain from the inside. This brings us nicely into the latest incarnation.

For the big screen update, Seth Rogen (Writer and star) has lifted this storyline almost entirely and had a few laughs with it. With Michel Gondry of Eternal Sunshine fame, on board as director one would expect something a little offbeat and quirky. Indeed, it isn't what you would call a normal superhero movie, but Gondry's influence is rather lost under the weight of it's star. This is a vehicle for Rogen through and through.

Rogen plays Brit Reid the underachieving son of a well respected newspaper magnate. When daddy dies Brit just wants to carry on as normal, spending his fathers money and ignoring any responsibility. Along the way Brit befriends his fathers mechanic Kato, mainly because Kato makes good coffee. Kato has many other handy crime fighting skills already built in to him, and when the two prevent a mugging one night, the increasingly useless Brit decides they should become vigilantes. From here on Silliness ensues. Christoph waltz steals the show as a gangster who wants nothing more than for his men to be afraid of him, Cameron Diaz pops up and doesn't really do anything and Seth Rogen bumbles around like he always does.

All in all, The Green Hornet is a fairly agreeable romp. For the most part it moves along swiftly, although the second act falls flat in parts. Given that Rogen is writing I would have expected far more comedy than action, but he succeeds in melding the two together rather seamlessly. Yes it's over the top, it's camp, and it is most definitely a throwback to the old colourful boys own adventures of old, but that all makes for a decent bit of silly entertainment. It's not perfect by a long shot, and a lot of people may be put off by the fact they've never heard of the damn thing, but there are far worse ways to spend an afternoon.

Rating: 3/5

Batman: The Hype Rises

As the new year begins it strikes me that since Christopher Nolan announced the title of the 3rd installment of his Batman series there has been zero mention of it in the press. One Google search later, and I am informed that the finalised script is due to be completed this month with shooting to start in May. That's alright then. The Dark Knight Rises has not slipped quietly in to development hell, it's just biding it's time a little bit. So I'm going to take this opportunity to engage in a little pre-marketing speculation, as once the script is locked in we won't hear of anything else.

Warning: Spoilers Ahoy

So, there are two items on the agenda today: Who will the villain be, and will it actually be any good? Let's start with the villains. There are a good number of the usual rogue's gallery who can be crossed off the list. The Joker and Scarecrow are both assumed to be inmates of Arkham following the events of The Dark Knight; Two-Face is dead; Chris Nolan has publicly announced that The Riddler will not feature and, Killer Croc, Mr. Freeze and Manbat are all a little too silly to fit into the "realistic" version of Gotham we have become accustomed to. So who does that leave?

In no particular order here are some of the front-runners in my head.

Talia Al Ghul - In comic book lore Talia is the daughter of the immortal Ra's Al Ghul and is a love interest of Bruce Wayne. she occupies a space similar to that of Catwoman and is more of an Anti-hero than a villain. Having used Ra's Al Ghul in the first film there is a good possibility of a revenge story coming to the fore here, as well as tying up the story of the League of Shadows a little better. Having the characters linked across the 3 films would nicely bookend the series too.

Catwoman - I think by this stage everyone in the world is familiar with Catwoman. She wears tight leather, she has a whip, she's a devious criminal but not that bad a person, and she is a love interest for both Batman and Bruce Wayne depending on how she's dressed. now the fact that the only female character in the series was blown to pieces in the last film does suggest that Nolan be looking to fill those shoes for the third outing. Hopefully this will be a character who has a modicum of a personality. Catwoman would fit in nicely there as would the aforementioned Talia. Lord knows what story they'd go for with Catwoman. There's plenty to choose from anyway.

Harley Quinn - Up until now there has been absolutely zero mention anywhere of the possibility of the Jokers Girlfriend being introduced. Granted, in The Dark Knight we are led to believe that the Joker doesn't really have any friends, he's a little too crazy for normal interaction. However I do believe Harley could fit nicely into the Nolan universe. Her story goes she is a young psychologist assigned to the Joker in Arkham and is gradually twisted around to his way of thinking over the course of their sessions. Easily done without having to show the joker on-screen. The origin story could be tweaked without much thought either. The Joker has obviously left quite a mark on Gotham and thanks to the Arkham breakout in Batman Begins there are plenty of loonies wandering the streets of Gotham who would be more than willing to act as a copycat. On a Side note, there's the option of introducing the Joker Gang who featured quite heavily in the futuristic "Batman Beyond" series.

Hugo Strange - I can't help notice my list so far has been entirely female, so here's a change of pace. I must admit, I'm not overly familiar with this character but his name has popped up in a few different rumour sites so it's be rude not to include him here. An informed source (Wikipedia) tells me he is a psychologist who becomes obsessed with Batman, and attempts to kill the vigilante so he can take up the mantle himself. To me that could make for a very interesting storyline and fits in nicely with the grim world which has been built up in the first two films.

The Penguin - Why has everyone forgotten Oswald Cobblepot? I suppose no-one really wants to remember Tim Burton's grotesque version involving Danny DeVito and a prosthetic nose. Let's try to look at the character objectively for a moment though. Once you take away his flying umbrella, the Penguin is for all intents and purposes a hardcore gangster. If you look at Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, a lot of it is taken up by badass gangsters trying to take control of Gotham. Now currently the Gotham PD are using all their resources to hunt down Batman. Enter the penguin to quietly take control of the crime syndicates, and suddenly Gotham is more boned than ever before so it's up to one pointy eared vigilante to save the day. Thus he redeems himself in the eyes of the entire city and Christopher Nolan can justify his awful choice of title.

Which, if any, of these villains will actually show up in the film is anyone's guess. Given the history of the series, and indeed the history of superhero movies in general I think it's safe to say there will be more than one antagonist and at least three different plot lines baying for our attention.

In Batman Begins we saw three villains as well as a lengthy origin story and each were given almost exactly the right amount of attention.

The Dark Knight once again, had 3 villains. The Joker dominated the film, Two-Face was unfortunately short changed and the gangsters very much took a back seat, as did any sort of character development. Enough was done right however to ensure it worked.

The hype machine that went along with The Dark Knight was unprecedented. I haven't seen anything like it before or since and the film was very much in danger of collapsing under it's own weight. Instead it became one of the most successful films of all time and everyone loved it. No doubt Warner Bros. are cranking up that machine right now in anticipation of the new script.

So get ready for more of the same in the coming months. I'll be doing my best to ignore it, but I know very well this is an impossibility. I just hope that one more time Nolan won't let the hype get him down and deliver a film that stands up to it's predecessors. Only time will tell.